As I age and feel regrets, I find myself reflecting on Memento Mori.
You could leave life right now
I worry less about what is on the other side of death. Know one knows for sure. I will be dead and by definition there will be little I can do to change whatever is on the other side of this life.
Rather, when I focus on death I think about the time I have left and if death will sneak up on me as it is doing right now or if it will come unexpectedly.
Yesterday, I had my wisdom teeth out. Due to the circumstances it required surgey and sedation.
As I was feeling myself drifting I asked for my wife’s hand - they were kind enough to allow her to be in the room until I dosed off.
I was feeling myself drift. It was not unlike sleep but just different enough condsidering the circumstances. With sleep you feel some control and a sense that you will wake up. In this case, I was thinking this must be what death is like a gentle fading away and not being sure if this is it.
What I said out loud that I am reporting here was told to me by my wife since I do not recall more than the feeling I have expressed.
I love you and you are my world.
I do not want to die.
Corny and silly perhaps.
There was nothing about the procedure or the doctor that caused me any concern.
It was the fact that I have more I want to do. And if this is it for me then I have things left undone.
Always remember, you could leave this life right now.
With Kindness and Love